Completely Speechless!

I am way behind in everything! 

It started about 3 or 4 weeks ago when my laptop died and I had to buy a new one.  It's taking forever to get used to the new one as I'm not the most technical person out there.  That or I don't take change well (don't tell anyone, but that may be the real reason!).

Then Mr. Fix-it came to visit two weeks ago after being apart for nearly 5 months.  Don't ask me how we make it work, we just do, though it is NOT easy.  Since he's been here we've been so busy carving out time to do things around the house, spend time together, as well as do some fun things.  I actually have some great adventures I want to share with my readers, like the Rodeo we went to yesterday and several hikes we've taken with several more planned before he leaves.  Mr. Fix-it actually is here for two more weeks as he is practicing for his retirement in March of 2014! 

I want to share the fact with you all that I am rarely at a loss for words.  I'm sure I've been speechless before sometime in my life, but to be honest, I don't remember it ever really happening!   Additionally, Mr. Fix-it has NEVER been able to surprise me.  I've always known what I'm getting for any holiday or any secret he has tried to keep, he's just not good at it!

It was such a relief when he arrived.  One...just to see him and, two....I really needed help.  It's very hard being the only one taking care of my dad and spending so much time at it and it gets lonely.  Mr. Fix-it's flight came in late in the day so we grabbed some dinner and headed to the 'ranch', catching up on everything we'd been up to for the last five months.  With the time difference, I expected him to hit the sack at least two hours before me but he stayed up and we continued talking.  At one point late in the evening I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror and he came up behind me and asked if I would scratch his back. 

 Being exhausted as I was, my first thought was.....you just flew 1800 miles and you want me to scratch your back!  Grumble, grumble, #@#!#..  Ok, I said to myself,  "Self stop feeling sorry for yourself just because you are wanting to receive attention, not give it.  He's been alone too for five months too!" 

Ahhhh....what a sly devil he was though!  He planned the reveal of his secret SOOO well, down to the last detail!  He stepped into the bathroom facing the mirror just so he could see my reaction as he took off his t-shirt.  I stepped behind him and raised my 'claws' to scratch and when I did, thought my jaw must have hit floor.  I was absolutely speechless...dumbfounded...in fact he said my face went white.  Blanched was really the word he used.  Blanched.  I don't think I've ever 'blanched' in my life, only read the word in historical romance novels!!  

So....what caused such a reaction you ask???

THIS!!!!

  I don't think my reaction was what he expected.  And I can't figure out how he managed to keep this secret for so long especially since it had to be done months before he came out or it wouldn't have been healed.  In his defense, he's talked about this wanting this tattoo for quite a few years but I never took it seriously AND......I thought if he was serious, I'd be able talk him out of it!! 

Ummm...yeah....that didn't get to happen! 

Remind Me Never

.....to go to the grocery on a Saturday morning.  I don't know what I was thinking, I truly had a brain fade by going as I knew better!!

You see, I have personal space issues.  I've written about it before here, http://through-the-barn-door.blogspot.com/search?q=personal+space


And I openly admit my idiosyncrasy regarding people in my personal space.   Most times I just deal with it but this trip to the grocery pushed me over my limit!  

It should have been my first clue as I headed into the store and the local senior citizen bus was parked at the door.  "No matter",  I thought, "I can handle it."  NOT!

I headed over to the pre-packaged lettuce and it was as if there was a fire sale going on there!  I mean, people were swarming like bees!!  "Calm, remain calm",  I said.  "You can do this".   As I patiently waited my turn at the back of the aisle, I waited beside one of those carts they bring all the produce out to re-stock shelves.  Of course, it was stacked higher than my head.  All was good until the cart moved and ran into me, nearly knocking me down!  WHAT! 
The stock boy peeped around to see what had impeded his process as I was staring at him with the most incredulous look ever!  He apologized profusely but still....!

From there I made my way to the deli which was also teaming with customers.  I was able to stand in the front next to a gentleman to wait my turn.  All was good there until a little old lady, no doubt from the senior citizen bus parked out front, wheeled up with her shopping cart behind me.  Now....I know this doesn't sound like much, but she blocked me in with her cart and with LITTLE room for me to move.  Why, why, why do you stroll up to a busy counter like that and try to force in your grocery cart?  If that wasn't enough, the front of her cart was so close to the behind of the man beside me that I thought she was trying to take him for a ride!  I must have glanced at her 4 or 5 times trying to let her politely know that she was in my personal space and it was starting to get to me, but amazingly, she just smiled.  Finally, I said to the man standing next to me who was almost finished with his order,  "Don't step back sir or your going to fall over the cart behind you".  I mean it was inches from his derriere!!  And still.....pushy senior citizen didn't get it, only laughed and wouldn't move her cart!!!  

That was it....my personal space alarm bells were going off all over the place.  I had to get out and quick before I had a melt down, however, I must have gotten behind every slow shopper in the place trying to get to the checkout.  They were EVERYWHERE!!!  

As if all that wasn't enough, a mother and child got in line to check out behind me and she was pushing one of those stupid carts that look like cars the kids can drive.  Well mom's I hate to tell you, but your driving perceptions must be off because those things are longer than regular carts and when you bump the person in front of you, you are tempting an explosion!  It was all I could do not to lose it.  

Ok, so please remind me the next time I think I can handle ANY shopping on a Saturday.................................................DON'T DO IT!!!!

Personal Opinion

This is Brie.

My grooming job for the day, little Miss Brie is an adorable, 9 month old ball of fur!  Actually, besides being a cutie pie, she is technically a....Maltipoo.


A Maltipoo........a cross between a Maltese and a poodle, hence......Maltipoo.


Ok.....so, right here, right now......I'm going to apologize in case I offend anyone with my personal opinion spouted within this post.  


Here goes......I am NOT a supporter of "designer' breed dogs.  There.....that's it, it's out, I've said it.

It's not that Brie and other designer dogs aren't wonderful pets.  It's not that dogs like her don't enrich people's lives and bring joy and love into them.  It's just that.....well......she's a......mixed breed.   Uh oh, I've maligned mixed breed dogs.  Please don't take offense, I don't have an issue with a mixed breed dog, I grew up on the farm with many and they all were wonderful, adoring and loving dogs.  Heck, I didn't even know what a purebred dog was until I was much older and had moved away from the farm. 


It's the 'designer' aspect that I take issue with.  It's mixing breeds and coming up with the likes of the Maltipoo, Labradoodle, Cockapoo, etc., that bothers me.  People taking generations and generations of purebred dogs and 'mixing' them together to make.......what?  Or better yet, why!


I see scads of ads in the newspapers everyday for cute adorable puppies, of which many are mixed, but for marketing purposes have become, 'designer' breeds.  If you've scanned those ads, you know that people ask a LOT of money for those pups, a mixed breed pup!  Sometimes, a buyer will pay more for one of those than they could have gotten from a breeder of purebreds with quality Champion bloodlines behind them. 


And that right there....the money, is one of the two things that irks me about these fashion statement breeds.  People breed these designer dogs with one thing in mind......making a buck.   Yeah, I'm one of those crazies that think, 'dogs are people too'.  I love my dogs with all my heart and I get that back in return.  I just don't understand the concept of a dog being just 'livestock' for sale, to make money, a profit on. 


The second thing that gets my goat is that while people are busy coming up with and breeding these new mutts, thousands upon thousands of dogs are euthanized every single day in the US. Dogs add so much value to human life every day and give such unconditional love.  Why, why, why do we need to breed more for the simple purpose of making the almighty dollar.  


Let me clarify, I'm not one of those crazies that think no dog should ever be bred.  I DON'T believe in a world without animals.  I just wish every dog (and cat) out there that is facing the end of his life in an animal shelter could find a forever home.  Maybe there would be more homes available for them if there weren't so many of the designer dogs being bred and purchased.  

And that folks.....is the end of my rant, am off my soapbox and sorry to those I may have offended!


Oh.....one last thing, thanks to little Brie, I've found my writing mojo that I had lost!!  Am guessing this may not be my last post on this subject!

TOO CLOSE OR NOT?

I readily admit I have personal space issues.  

Clearly I start to feel uncomfortable when someone I don't know gets within an arms' length of me.  My arm not theirs!  I don't know if the hair on the back of my neck actually raises or something else sets off an alarm in my mind.  Warning, warning.....unknown subject getting too close for comfort!!! 

Moving in closer than my arm's length and I begin to get upset with people's rudeness.  Caution, caution....stranger danger!

I realize that everyone has different lengths of personal space and I try to take that into consideration but I wonder, how close is close enough?  Also, I think there are different depths of personal space that are or are not appropriate.     Like when driving ones car, how close is comfortable when someone is behind you, maybe even tailgating, or their grocery cart is running over your toe?  Some violations are even unavoidable such as when you are stuffed in an airplane and the person next to you is hogging the armrests and his or her arm seems to be resting comfortably against yours!  YICK!!!  Get it off me!!!

Something that nearly puts me over the top often occurs in restaurants, mostly fast food or cafe types, is an employee sweeping the floor right next to me when I'm eating!!!!  EXCUSE ME!!!!   


Do they not realize they are stirring up dust and yuck and that people don't want that stuff in their food????  Or am I the only one that feels that way?  I try to talk myself out of getting upset over it or saying something rude or offensive to the sweeper.  I realize they are employees and have a job to do that someone a pay grade or two above them has said must be done, but really?  Right beside someone while they are eating?  I've even had them reach their broom or floor vac right under the very table I am eating at.  


I'm just suggesting that there might be other ways to accomplish this task for your demanding boss and still accommodate customers.  Like.....wait till the customer leaves and then sweep around that table maybe?  I'm sorry if this idea causes your chore to become a sort of patchwork sweep job doing sections of the restaurant rather than one big sweep.  And, yes it probably takes a bit longer to do it that way, but trust me, your customers will be happier and have enjoyed a peaceful meal.  At least I think they will?  Or is it just me that seems to be bothered by this??


Hmmm.....I suppose I could be sounding a bit odd, over the top or crazy right about now?!?!   Perhaps I should give my idiosyncrasies a once over and rethink my position.   Nah......I'm cool with this one!  


What about you?

NEVER TOO OLD TO LEARN

I've been having a rough time lately.  Some days I'd prefer to do nothing more than curl up in bed and remain there in the fetal position for the whole day.  The other days I manage to get through somehow but don't get much accomplished.

 

So much rain and humidity.

So many family problems.

Bills, the house falling apart.

Taking care of my dad.

Not having ANY free or alone time.

I just let it all overwhelm me.  

In the middle of my feeling sorry for myself, I learned a lesson.  Seems one is never old to learn!

A friend of mine has been trying to find a car for his daughter for several weeks now.  She is a single mom with an 11 month old baby.  Her car was totaled in an accident about a month and a half ago.  She nor the baby were in it at the time thankfully but it left her with no way to get to her part time job.

She didn't have the best of vehicles to begin with.  The insurance company paid her $3400 for it.  Nothing in savings meant that was all she had to spend to replace her transportation.  I don't know if you've been car shopping lately, but that isn't much money to spend on something that is reliable.  My friend spent countless hours calling dealers, looking on car sales lots and found nothing that he felt good about putting his daughter and granddaughter on the road in.  He also had a co-worker trying to find something for her.  

The co-worker has a side business.  A used car lot.  He buys vehicles at local auctions and then resells them on his lot.  Even he was having trouble finding something good to purchase at the money she had available.  To make things a bit trickier, the daughter had some specific ideas about the kind of car she wanted.  It had to be a Grand Am or Grand Prix, in silver, black or white.  

After weeks of not finding anything at the auction everyone was getting frustrated.  The daughter was using my friends truck which takes a lot of money for gasoline.  My friend was forced to play vehicle tag when he needed his truck for his lawn mowing business. 

Then it happened.  The co-worker found a vehicle that was reliable, clean, new tires, sporty rims, low miles, top of the line accessories including a 6 CD changer and awesome stereo system and bought it for the money she had available.  The car was a 2000 Neon, dark green. And not to mention, the book value on this car was just over $5000! 

Woo hoo finally.....right!

Wrong!

  The daughter threw a fit.  That wasn't the kind of car she wanted.  She doesn't like the shape of Neon's, and according to her mother, the car isn't cute enough.  

Well that did it for me!  I went on a tirade to my friend about youth and ungratefulness.  Why, I remember my dad busting his knuckles to put a new motor in an ugly old (but free) 4 seater Ford Horizan for me to drive when I was a single mom with two kids!  I was embarrassed to be seen in it but I never once complained to my dad about it.  He worked so hard to fix it up for me.  I couldn't afford anything else either.  I was so grateful for what he did for me.  I would never even think of downgrading his efforts by complaining about the ugly car.  I was thankful to have something to drive again.  I didn't have to be chauffeured to work anymore and the kids and I didn't have to walk 5 blocks back and forth to the grocery either.  

Sometime after my ranting about the youth of today I realized something.  I wasn't depressed.  I didn't have that heavy, overwhelmed feeling on my shoulders and I wasn't spending all my time doing nothing.  I was back to my old self.  

Somewhere along the way of expressing my feelings, I was motivated back to action.  Action is the best killer of depression I know of.  Oh sure, I'm still irritated at the insensitivity of youth today, but I realized that I have no business being down.  I actually am pretty blessed.  I live in the country and it's beautiful here.  Sure the house needs to be remodeled and sure I don't have the money but everyday I can look out and see nothing but beautiful surroundings.  Like the buck and doe I saw in my hayfield yesterday.  Most people never get to experience anything like that!

 And yes, I spend 6 months in Arizona with my dad taking care of him but at least I have the ability to do so!  I don't have to freeze in the Indiana winters and I've managed to do ok in life so that I don't have to work outside of the home.  So I don't need to complain about being tied down or not getting to do anything for myself.   I SHOULD be taking care of my dad right now.  He spent years looking after me and my siblings.  There were LOTS of things he didn't get to do because of us and I never once heard him complain about it.  

Sure, life may not be the way I would like it to be but who ever said there were any guarantees in life?  There is not one person on this earth that doesn't have some problem.  Problems actually, and it can ALWAYS be worse, much worse.  So I am back "in the saddle" so to speak and living life again and not feeling sorry for myself.  Got beans to pick, laundry to do, floors to mop, animals to feed and dad to take care of!  

Thanks to my friend's daughter for the wake up call!

IS IT JUST ME?

Ok.....I have something to admit. I have issues! There, I said it.

One of my issues, or if you'd rather call them, 'pet peeves' involves other people getting into my personal space.

It seems to happen to me most when I am in line waiting to check out somewhere. Usually it's another female that treads too close. You know the kind, totally oblivious to the world going on around them. It's all about them! Typically they have an arm load of 'stuff' and a huge purse all getting ready to tumble out of their arms and land on me because they are almost standing on my heels! They are the ones that seem to believe they are the only ones in a hurry to get somewhere. News Flash.....we are ALL in a hurry!

Yesterday, however, while standing in line at the drugstore, it was a man threatening my comfort zone. There were three people in front of me and the line wasn't moving but he kept inching closer. As he did so, I found myself automatically stepping a bit nearer to the person in front of me until my frontal personal space began to cringe as much as my backside. My forward motion did nothing to stop his. As I moved up, so did he, eliminating any relief from my personal space infringement. Finally when I could go no further, I slowly turned my body side ways so I could see this interloper. He must have realized something was amiss because this tiny shift in my position caused him to back a way a bit. SUCCESS!

Oddly, I find that most female intruders don't get that subtlety and rarely move back. I wonder why this is. Is it a male/female issue or do they really think if they keep this forward motion pressure on that it will actually get them up to the counter faster? Male or female, I have news for them, IT WONT! No matter how hard you try to physically or mentally 'will it to be so', that personal space violator isn't going to get there any faster than I am.

I sometimes think I should go around wearing a sign on my body saying, "please respect my personal space" but would it work? Without defining just what my 'space' is, how do others know where that line in the sand is? And when pondering this subject, I don't know if even I can give you a definition of exactly where my space boundary's are. My limits are different from the next persons and I honestly think they can change on a daily basis. For instance, with the drugstore incident, I was tired and extremely stressed that day. My 82 year old diabetic father, had come down with a cold. A simple cold for him can turn into something very serious and he can't take certain medications because of the diabetes. Upon reflection, I think had I been in a more relaxed state, my boundary would have been closer to me and I wouldn't have felt bothered at all.

According to Wikipedia personal space is defined as: "the region surrounding a person which they regard as psychologically theirs. Invasion of personal space often leads to discomfort, anger, or anxiety on the part of the victim". Wikipedia goes on to declare that personal space is: "variable" indicating that people living in extremely populated areas experience smaller invisible barriers. Variable huh? So does that mean those people who invade your space have teeny tiny personal parameters? Does that mean we should be more 'forgiving' of those trespassers because they don't feel what we do?

I don't really have the answer to that question but I do know, I don't care who you are, when someone bangs your body with a grocery cart, a purse, their body or something they are carrying, I believe that is close enough to affect ANYONE's personal space.

Or is it???