I've been having a rough time lately. Some days I'd prefer to do nothing more than curl up in bed and remain there in the fetal position for the whole day. The other days I manage to get through somehow but don't get much accomplished.
So much rain and humidity.
So many family problems.
Bills, the house falling apart.
Taking care of my dad.
Not having ANY free or alone time.
I just let it all overwhelm me.
In the middle of my feeling sorry for myself, I learned a lesson. Seems one is never old to learn!
A friend of mine has been trying to find a car for his daughter for several weeks now. She is a single mom with an 11 month old baby. Her car was totaled in an accident about a month and a half ago. She nor the baby were in it at the time thankfully but it left her with no way to get to her part time job.
She didn't have the best of vehicles to begin with. The insurance company paid her $3400 for it. Nothing in savings meant that was all she had to spend to replace her transportation. I don't know if you've been car shopping lately, but that isn't much money to spend on something that is reliable. My friend spent countless hours calling dealers, looking on car sales lots and found nothing that he felt good about putting his daughter and granddaughter on the road in. He also had a co-worker trying to find something for her.
The co-worker has a side business. A used car lot. He buys vehicles at local auctions and then resells them on his lot. Even he was having trouble finding something good to purchase at the money she had available. To make things a bit trickier, the daughter had some specific ideas about the kind of car she wanted. It had to be a Grand Am or Grand Prix, in silver, black or white.
After weeks of not finding anything at the auction everyone was getting frustrated. The daughter was using my friends truck which takes a lot of money for gasoline. My friend was forced to play vehicle tag when he needed his truck for his lawn mowing business.
Then it happened. The co-worker found a vehicle that was reliable, clean, new tires, sporty rims, low miles, top of the line accessories including a 6 CD changer and awesome stereo system and bought it for the money she had available. The car was a 2000 Neon, dark green. And not to mention, the book value on this car was just over $5000!
Woo hoo finally.....right!
The daughter threw a fit. That wasn't the kind of car she wanted. She doesn't like the shape of Neon's, and according to her mother, the car isn't cute enough.
Well that did it for me! I went on a tirade to my friend about youth and ungratefulness. Why, I remember my dad busting his knuckles to put a new motor in an ugly old (but free) 4 seater Ford Horizan for me to drive when I was a single mom with two kids! I was embarrassed to be seen in it but I never once complained to my dad about it. He worked so hard to fix it up for me. I couldn't afford anything else either. I was so grateful for what he did for me. I would never even think of downgrading his efforts by complaining about the ugly car. I was thankful to have something to drive again. I didn't have to be chauffeured to work anymore and the kids and I didn't have to walk 5 blocks back and forth to the grocery either.
Sometime after my ranting about the youth of today I realized something. I wasn't depressed. I didn't have that heavy, overwhelmed feeling on my shoulders and I wasn't spending all my time doing nothing. I was back to my old self.
Somewhere along the way of expressing my feelings, I was motivated back to action. Action is the best killer of depression I know of. Oh sure, I'm still irritated at the insensitivity of youth today, but I realized that I have no business being down. I actually am pretty blessed. I live in the country and it's beautiful here. Sure the house needs to be remodeled and sure I don't have the money but everyday I can look out and see nothing but beautiful surroundings. Like the buck and doe I saw in my hayfield yesterday. Most people never get to experience anything like that!
And yes, I spend 6 months in Arizona with my dad taking care of him but at least I have the ability to do so! I don't have to freeze in the Indiana winters and I've managed to do ok in life so that I don't have to work outside of the home. So I don't need to complain about being tied down or not getting to do anything for myself. I SHOULD be taking care of my dad right now. He spent years looking after me and my siblings. There were LOTS of things he didn't get to do because of us and I never once heard him complain about it.
Sure, life may not be the way I would like it to be but who ever said there were any guarantees in life? There is not one person on this earth that doesn't have some problem. Problems actually, and it can ALWAYS be worse, much worse. So I am back "in the saddle" so to speak and living life again and not feeling sorry for myself. Got beans to pick, laundry to do, floors to mop, animals to feed and dad to take care of!
Thanks to my friend's daughter for the wake up call!