Mixed Emotions

I am foster-less.

I got word on Thursday that Lissa was going to a new foster home.  I was immediately worried.  Did I fail?  Did I not do enough for her, did I share her problems too much which maybe sounded like complaining?  How would this affect her, would she feel abandoned again?

 

Not to mention in the last two weeks we had started to bond and Lissa had been making some improvements.  In fact, at night she would lay at my chair with my bare feet resting on her back! 

Arrangements were made for her to be picked up by Michael yesterday morning.  I learned that he has three Greyhounds, one of which was Lissa's brother who came to him in the same condition Lissa was and that he has come out of his shell under Michael's tutelage.  I felt better, but still worried about her.  Especially after the Animal Communicator's reading telling me that Lissa felt abandoned.

On Friday night before bed I told her about the changes that would be happening.  That she would be with her brother and this would be a good thing and that it will most likely turn out to be her 'forever' home.  But I still felt sad and concerned for her.  

Saturday morning when I got her breakfast she was shaking which made me feel even worse.  "She know's", I thought, "and she's scared".  Then something really odd happened.  She started playing.  Jumping in the air and galloping toward me AND.....bumping my cheek with her nose!  Not just once, but half a dozen times she did this!!!  And I felt even worse.  She likes me and she's leaving me and it's really going to upset her world all over again.  It felt awful.  Good, but awful.  

My feelings however, all changed at 10am Saturday when Michael knocked on my door.  He  brought with him Alli, one of his Greyhound girls that is an extremely nurturing dog and had helped bring Ian, Lissa's brother out of his shell.  Alli walked in the door like she owned the place, Michael stood back and Alli and I headed to the living room where Lissa was.  

OH MY GOODNESS!  Lissa took one look at Alli, jumped up toward her wagging her tail in greeting.  She was so happy to see one of her kind!  So happy and focused on Alli, that Lissa barely paid any attention to Michael as he sat down on the couch. 

Alli and dad

We sat and talked for about a half hour, discussing Lissa's problems, her routine and so forth.  Then, Michael suggested we go for a walk with the girls!  A walk....I can barely get Lissa out the door to the yard to go to the bathroom much less a walk.  

I leashed up both girls however, and headed out the door.  As usual, Lissa didn't want to go but Alli was out the door right away.  Finally Lissa decided it must be ok since Alli and I were on the other side of the door waiting for her.  Off we went with Michael behind.  Lo and behold, we ended up walking around several blocks before heading back to the house.  We stopped at Michaels minivan to do a training exercise.  He slid the side door open and Alli hopped in.  After a few seconds, Lissa hopped in.  I went around to the other door, opened it, out came Alli and out came Lissa.  Back into the house we went and packed up Lissa's things.  

 And there she is in the back of Michael's van ready to go on to the next step in her journey. 

It's always sad when any foster leaves me.  It leaves a hole, an empty place and the house seems different, quiet.  And even though I had a whole realm of mixed emotions on this one......Lissa is without a doubt....in the right place at the right time, for her.