Tuesday, March 29, 2011

What to do, what to do!

The weather is really quite nice right now here in Arizona.  It's easy to fall into the misconception that it must be nice at home too.  But it's not.  

This time of year dad and I are about a month away from returning to Indiana for the summer.  I start counting the days and looking forward to getting back to 'the farm'.  It's also time to buy grocery items in smaller quantities so I don't have a bunch of stuff to throw out or give away, make a to do list of things that have to be done to close up the house, and so forth.  

 I really start to get excited to go home to the country and my flowers, screen porch and cats.  I haven't seen my two grown kids in nearly 8 months and since they didn't come out to visit this year, I'm anxious to see them, I miss them!

Unfortunately, this year things are much more 'up in the air'.  I don't know where dad and I are going to go.  'Home' is a bit crowded right now.  Mr. Fix-it's daughter, baby and Rottweiler are still living there and it sounds like the daughter's fiance will be moving in about May as well.  Also, since dad and I left last October, Mr. Fix-it's grown son has moved home too.  

Dad will be 83 in June.  I don't talk about him much but he is diabetic, has Parkinson's, Heart disease and his short-term memory is not good.  He can't live alone.  He sleeps a lot too.  

Mr. Fix-it's granddaughter is 18 months old and much more active than when dad and I left last fall.  Suffice it to say that to go home will put a BIG strain on everyone.  Not to mention the fact that I have a really hard time finding an aide to come in and help with dad because we live in such a rural area. 

There seems to be no easy solution.  Dad doesn't want to spend the summer here in the heat and I don't want to either.  At home, there are no houses to rent on a month to month basis.  I might be able to rent an apartment but dad is not an apartment kind of guy and I think it will be confusing for him.  He's had some trouble this winter remembering where we are.  He enjoys sitting on my screen porch, watching the cats and the farmer working the fields around us.  

So....I sit here in a quandary trying to figure out what to do.  I do know we won't be going anywhere until the first of June.  Hopefully something will work out by then.   

It's not easy.  My mom, who has been gone 5 years now, would always say,  "Life isn't fair and it isn't easy".  I sure wish she was here to help me with this one! 


  1. Boy, you sure are going through many decisions. Maybe it's time to call a family meeting and get everyone involved in thinking up some solutions. Sounds like with everyone, you could develop a real team there. Sometimes our older "children" just need direction, but then they step up to the plate. Keep your chin up!

  2. You have a lot on your plate right now. I can imagine how stressful it must be. I don't do well if I don't have a plan so this would make me crazy.
    I hope that you can come up with a suitable solution soon.
    I'll be thinking of you.

  3. WOW, you do have some tough decisions to make. I agree with Courtney, with direction and everyone pulling together, something positive could come out of this difficult situation. As daughters, we at times find ourselves carrying the load. Sending blessings your way.

  4. No point in a family meeting. Have tried that avenue. :-(

  5. Karen, having family is a blessing but sometimes it can also get complicated. I sure hope that some solution will come up soon.

    I'll keep you and your dad in my prayers. An expansion on the house like a granny suite might be a solution. Hugs. JB

  6. Hi Karen,
    Life these days can sure get complicated and frustrating. I know things will work out for you as you care for your Dad. You have the right attitude by giving it time to work out. Delve into a hooking project or something that helps quiet the anxiety. Know that you have good friends and people who care about you!
    Prayers and hugs!
    Cathy G

  7. karen i sense something...so of course i am on your side and it seems as though the soon to be wedded ones need to spread their wings and find a new nest. they are at the prime of their lives. your dad needs to stay with you. it seems that you would feel awful if it were any other way. i pray you will find a peaceful solution. sigh....good luck girl...remember, your blog friends are with you in spirit.

  8. You know, I know you guys hate the heat, but I have had experience with Mike's mom and sometimes at this age to even move your dad back home may cause him even more confusion. Just a thought from experience. But this was the age that Mike's mom got very confused although she said she wanted to come back to Indiana and it became too much for her to comprehend...you know the rest of the story. Just a thought.

  9. I also know from experience that 'family meetings' do not work...with this family anyway!

  10. I'm so sorry you are going through this at this time in your life. Hopefully things will turn around before June 1st. I'll be thinking of you.

  11. Hi, I am your new follower, I am from Norway.


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