HIPA SCHMIPA!!

Ok, exactly what is the point to that stupid HIPA law!  Or those signs posted at pharmacies that say "For privacy please wait behind this line".  Aside from signing the extra paperwork it causes, I do appreciate the Federal Government looking out for my privacy but I hate to tell them.......it's all a waste of time.

Today, as I stood waiting at the end of a long line in my local pharmacy/superstore, a young couple fell in behind me.   Now, normally this would not be a problem however, this couple chose to line up right on my back. A little space here please?!?!!  They apparently don't understand the universal code of body language either.   You know the one where the move goes like this:

1) person in front of you moves up a step or two and subtly looks back over their shoulder at you. 

Does that mean it is: 

a) your cue to step forward perfectly in sinc with the person in front of you.
or
b) BACK OFF BUD YOU'RE IN MY PERSONAL SPACE!

If you answered B, you are correct.  

Said couple however chose option A.  And they didn't get it when I repeated my body language maneuver a second time.


Said couple didn't get the next maneuver either.  That's the one where you shift your body a quarter turn, plant your feet and stare off into nothingness.  If you execute this move correctly your shoulder is now in contact with the front of the shirt on the person behind you!  That should send the message loud and clear right?  Nope, no go, not with these two!


At this point, not wanting to commit 'standing in line rage' (which, if you didn't know, is akin to road rage), I decided to turn around, face forward and concentrate on willing the line to move faster.  Yeah, like that's going to work!  


To make matters worse, the female of the couple is now on her cell phone and because of her close proximity, I can hear every word of the conversation.  In fact, I think I could almost hear what the person on the other end of the line was saying.  I learned WAY more than I wanted to know about 'said couple'.  I learned that their names were Jason and Lisa Barnes of xxx Royal Pines Lane in XXXX Arizona as well as their phone number, 555-xxxx.  (Names have been changed to protect the ignorant......ooops I mean innocent.  


I learned that Lisa was on the phone with a specialist trying to get Jason in on Monday to have two teeth extracted.  Yes, they had seen a regular dentist, Acme Dental and had the referral to the specialist in hand.  Yes they have dental coverage from, What's in a Name Insurance Company and she even provided the policy number right then and there in full earshot for me and probably a few other folks to hear.  


The icing on the cake though came when she told the person on the other end that poor Jason is allergic to Novocaine.  Could they pull the teeth without anything though he really doesn't want to feel anything but can do it without if that is the cheapest way to go.  SERIOUSLY!


Thankfully by then, it was my turn up at the counter and I had to leave behind the two squatters that had taken up residence on my back.  Hopefully all ends well for them and if they happen to read this (you know who you are!) maybe next time they will leave a little more personal space intact.


For me.....I'm going to get one of those signs that say, "For privacy please stay behind this line".  I think it will look great on my back don't you?